Friday, April 24, 2015

Drugs

I love the Qsymia

No major weight loss in the last week. I'm down to 186.6....but it's down.

What's amazing is how I feel. I feel the way a human feels when they don't care about food. I feel the way I felt sometimes with the band when it was adjusted just right. I feel the way we expected the band would always make us feel...but it was kind of hit or miss. Man I miss this feeling. It's amazing.

But...and that's a biggg But! There are problems with this...

1. The feeling won't likely stay forever.
2. It's expensive.
3. There are side effects.
4. Did I mention there are side effects.
5. There are LOTS of side effects.
6. There will probably be a rebound effect that I'm definitely NOT looking forward to when I do finally go off.

But for now...damn I'm loving this stuff.

The good:

I really don't care that much about food. Unless it's right in front of me, I don't often think to eat. Sometimes, if I get a hunger pang...water actually quells it. This is beautiful. I feel like this is how naturally skinny people must feel...you know...those ones who "forget to eat".

All the sugar addiction issues I had been having are completely GONE. I can now eat a pinch of M&M's and then walk away. I've had a bag of M&M's in the house for 2 weeks now...same bag...been working on it for 2 weeks! Before the Qsymia...that bag and 4 of it's friends would have been gone in 1 day, easily. I would have chased all that candy with a couple pieces of cake and potentially some ice cream...and maybe some chips.

The Bad:

As I noted above, there are a lot of side effects. First of all...things tingle. My fingers, my face...my shins. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it is annoying. My teeth feel funky...it's a hard feeling to explain. I told the doctor it's kind of like they itch...or something. My whole head feels funky. It doesn't hurt...just feels kinda pressurized. I don't poop near as often as one should...I probably would be down another pound or two if I did. I'm very thirsty a lot (no biggie...I need to drink lots of water anyway). And my sense of smell is hyped up and thrown off...I swear I can smell everyone's breath. Everyone's. Even yours. Please...have some gum. Everything smells bad. Several times this week I've wondered why in the world someone in the office is microwaving urine. Obviously nobody is microwaving urine...but that is what it smells like to me.

Oh...and also I'm stupid. No...really...I've lost some IQ points, I'm sure of it. And it's a problem.

Words and names escape me...frequently. I'll just sit there...blanking out...mid-sentence. This became a MAJOR problem when I was attempting to give a presentation on Thursday of last week in a room in front of 40 people and I blanked out completely AND my mouth completely dried out simultaneously. That may have been the most humiliating 10 minutes of my professional career. It was bad. So bad...in fact...that the person I can't stand MOST OF ALL (feeling is mutual) felt pity for me and left the room to buy me a bottle of water. UGH. An act of kindness from this otherwise horrible, wretched person who typically makes my life miserable. I think that made the situation even worse. I wanted to cry.


Later in the week I actually DID cry. In front of my boss.


It was a bad week.
 
In following up with the endocrinologist this week about how the medication was going, we did discuss the side effects I am experiencing. Her words were to the effect of "the mechanism that makes you to disassociate from food can also make you disassociate from cognition as well. Some people can't tolerate that." I'm guessing the people that can't tolerate that are the ones with brains...or thoughts. Cuz it's weird to suddenly feel stupid. She said that we can pull the plug on the medication at any time if I feel like it's too much. She also suggested, potentially, trying some alternatives.

I'm actually holding out hope that the side effects resolve with time...because I feel less stupid every day (or maybe I'm becoming more stupid but stupid people care less and less over time...hmmmm???). My diminishing side effects over time theory is because I have a friend who takes Topiramate for her migraines and she said that the side effects took about a month to get past. That is one of the active ingredients in Qsymia and the one that is probably causing my I.Q. drop...so I'm ever-hopeful that this will improve. My doctor said that if I'm not feeling improvement after 3 months (I'm heading into week 5 now) that I will need to switch. In the mean time...it's working so well for the food cravings that I really REALLY am not at all ready to give it up. It's that good.

In doggie news, the poodle I think is a little depressed since Peyton's passing. I'm a little worried about her. She is sleeping in the bed at night with the Chinese Crested...which she didn't used to do. They used to sleep in their own beds alone. Scott also said that she was very, very clingy the morning he came home from the vet after we put Peyton down...like she knew immediately that he wasn't coming back. Poor girl. The poodle and the crested are each 10+ years old and not in the greatest of health, so I worry about them. She had one night of lethargy that gave me a scare but she has since recovered from that...I'm hoping that was "just a bug". That was a few days ago. That night I was thinking I was going to lose her too...two dogs in a couple weeks of each other. I didn't know if I could handle that.

Last month I started doing the Gwynnie Bee clothing rental thing as a stop gap (hopefully) as I get the (hopefully) remainder of this weight off (hopefully)...I'm very optimistic.

Actually...most of the dresses I received were on the "too big" side of things...so I'm not sure how long I will be able to be a member. But I got this one dress that I really contemplated buying because it was so dang cute. But...ultimately I returned it. It really was on the cusp of being too big...plus we are going into the summer months and it is a slightly heavier dress...so theoretically I shouldn't be able to wear it much longer...but it was a tough choice. Isn't it cute???

2 comments:

  1. It IS cute, but looks too big. You made the right call.

    This post was very funny (microwaving urine, pity from the enemy and all the rest). If this is the dumb you, you're still very clever.

    I hope you get all you hope for from the drug!

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  2. Yikes. Those side effects sound awful. Cute dress.

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