Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Requesting a fill today

Still here...still trying...still eating too much.

Notice I don't have any scale pictures. I need to start doing that again.

But I do have these:
We went to see a theater production of Dirty Dancing...I'm wearing a very form fitting little dress.

And this week we saw Alton Brown for the Edible Inevitable Tour...SO MUCH FUN!

In weight related news...

I'm requesting a fill today. I think I'm going to ask to be bumped up to 8cc. We'll see. I just really don't want to tolerate bread for a while.

Exercise is going very well. It was going way better in January...I've backed off a bit because I was getting soooo many headaches. But I'm still doing it. I'm pretty proud of my January exercise calendar. February is coming along but not quite as pretty. (Pink days represent days I did at least 30 minutes of exercise, if not more). Last month my participation in a fitness challenge helped. I participated in another this month but lost my way very early on. I need to try harder. But I am very proud to be back on the exercise bandwagon in general. In fact...I'm most proud of getting it in early in the morning before work. The days this month where I didn't get it in are the days I woke up late and I managed to talk myself out of it before getting home from the office. This is where I fail. Early morning is absolutely best for me.

Not doing so great with food choices. I need to forever banish sugar from my life...I have ZERO control over it! It's insane! But so hard to say goodbye to it. I wish I could control myself around it. I wish there was some sort of medication to control the craving for it...is that crazy?

This head stuff...seriously...I just can't believe how hard it is to change years and years of bad behaviors. I'm starting to recognize a strange behavior in myself that I don't fully understand. I don't understand my need to take big bites of food...one after the other. If a small bite tastes just as good...what is with the mental need to take a large bite? Is this making any sense to anyone. I guess what I'm saying is that I try to teach the kids to "savor" their deserts by taking their time, taking small bites...enjoying the flavors, because...after all...they only get one serving. Why don't I do this with my own food? Why the need to fill my "grown up" size fork with a large bite and then soon after another...and another. Does it taste any different than a small bite would? No...so why can't I mentally get past that? A couple months ago I bought teeny-tiny appetizer forks and spoons to try to slow me down a bit. It actually works pretty well when I remember to use them. But the mental stuff is still there, even with those tools.

Did I mention that I had to return my gadgetry? Yeah...ultimately it had too many bugs and just didn't work right. It was such a bummer. I kinda miss it, but learned a lot from the couple weeks that I did have it. But for now I'm sticking with wearing my ancient Polar heart rate monitor and might go for a low-tech step counter at some point. We'll see. I miss having the smart-watch features more than anything. I might try again for that someday. As a result to ditching gadgetry, I've also returned to sparkpeople for my menu tracking...because it has all my favorites and recipes and although I HATE all the adds, it really just works better for me than MFP.

Also, did I mention I signed up for a 5k? OBVIOUSLY I won't be running it...but I will walk it with 2 crutches. A friend was supposed to sign up with me but I have a feeling she is going to bail...so it might just be me and an ipod with some good podcasts to keep me entertained. I signed the kids up for the 1k kids race at the start of the day. I hope they love this. I've never done this kind of thing before...ever. Excited!

Anyway...that's it for now. I leave you with these photos. One of me and the girls making fishy faces...and the other is my most favorite photo of my little one playing dress-up in my closet. She has on a tank-top of mine that she is wearing as a dress and some high-heal shoes. I absolutely adore this picture. I call her my little fashionista...she definitely has a sense of style. Usually her sense involves an insane combination of prints that will induce seizures in most people...but still, she has a sense.


  1. Great pics! Welcome back. Those kiddos are adorable.
    I'm struggling with food too, and my gym changed hands which so far has not been good, but we just keep plugging away at it. Don't give up, and good luck on that fill!

  2. The white dress is beautiful and good for you for signing up for the 5k. Won't the crutches rub you? You probably have a plan for that. The head stuff is crazy and I think about it all the time. I wish I could do away with sugar...i type that as I sit here sipping my Pespi.