Monday, December 1, 2014

Fill tomorrow...I think....I dunno...ugh

I am scheduled for a fill tomorrow. I am having a hard time deciding if this is what I truly need.

The facts are these:

I can eat a fair amount most of the time. (1 point for fill)
But not all of the time (1 point for no fill)

I am choosing poorly, and poor choices go down easy. (1 point for no fill)
But maybe if I were more green-zone-ish I would make better choices? (A questionable point for fill)

I can eat more than 1 cup of food (1 point for fill)
Things that are bad for the band (like BREAD and PASTA) don't go down so easy (1 point for no fill)

I am searching for food in the evenings (1 point for fill)
But I'm not THAT hungry, it's really just head hunger (1 point for NO fill)

I'm gaining weight (1 point for fill)

But is it really just all my fault? I'm eating too much sugar!!!  (1 point for no fill)

But I have a tool that I should use (1 point for fill)

I am not trying to stay within calorie and protein targets (out of laziness)
I am not exercising (out of laziness)
I am not drinking my water (not because of restriction, just out of laziness)
I have not weighed in with WW for the last 3 weeks. (Out of "I don't wanna know"-ness)
I have not posted my weight in a few weeks (so much for accountability)

Fill = 5-6ish
No Fill = 5

UGH! I just wish this were so much easier! Those people that say getting a lapband is taking the easy way out...yeah....they can suck it! If it were "easy" I would be at goal. You still have to do the still have to eat still have to move more intentionally.

Aside from all this....Thanksgiving has come and gone. I brought home too much pie. I shouldn't have brought home the pie. I ate more than 1 cup full at the dinner table...but not that much more. The problem was desert and appetizers. But dinner itself was actually helped by the band.

Can't they just invent a pill that makes me not want to ever eat the yummy things?

Anyway...if I go forward with the fill (as I still currently plan to do), I will be on liquids and mushies for the next few days. Yay me.


  1. OMG you sound just like me with the whole "to fill" or "not to fill". I don't know which way to go either as my band works here and there, but not often enough and I never know when it will work. I'm afraid if I get any more, I'll have more stuck episodes...not really liking my band ever since I had to have all the fluid removed due to a twin pregnancy...can't find the green zone again :( Pray you make the right decision and maybe mine will follow!

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