Thursday, October 30, 2014

Ten Things Thursday

1. I am currently wearing tights where I have had to literally tie knots in the waistband to keep them up. I don't think this is due to weight loss....I think they are just old tights and the elastic has give up the fight.

2. My weight this morning was 186.2. I know it's not an official weigh in day, but sure was nice to see the number on the scale. And then I re-read my old blogs...and while I MENTALLY remember getting as low as 175, I only posted (it seems) 181 as my I'm not that far away from a weight where I was wearing some of my cuter outfits...and that feels nice. :)

3. My new active link from WW went through a run in the washer the other day...I look SUPER active during the time it spent in the agitation cycle.

4. Yesterday I ate 3 mini peanut butter cups. I accounted for it and still had a nice low-cal day overall...but still...three???

5. I went for a long walk across all three of our corporate buildings today simply to up the activity on my active link. It's a good indoor walk...problem is, I'm changing buildings Friday and won't be able to do this particular walk anymore. Bummer.

6. I still took my ambien last night. I decided with two major meetings today and tomorrow that this week wasn't a good time to be sleep-deprived. I will try Friday night.

7. I'm dreading buying Halloween candy for the house. So far I've been really good about not really partaking in candy the last couple weeks (aside from item 4 above). I just don't want it at home...and what's worse is we have the kids this Halloween, so we will have their loot to contend with as well. Ugh.

8. I'm trying to get my dad's estate wrapped up so I can disburse the money to my family before the holidays. It isn't much...but I know it will help them. I have NO IDEA how long this part of the process might take I haven't told anyone. I don't want to get their hopes up. I keep hitting refresh on my email looking for notes from the's frankly a little obsessive.

9. My low back is not in a happy place today. It's starting to wear me down.

10. My friend who is not accustomed to watching her diet lost 3 pounds in the last week. I know she is struggling (she is a VERY picky eater who also doesn't eat most meat, so it is extremely hard for me to give her food ideas because she doesn't like much of anything). I'm happy for her. I had advised her to not worry too much the first week about cutting out calories and to focus more on being aware of what she was taking in (learn to weigh/measure, learn how many calories were in what she is "normally" eating, etc.), but she jumped right in with reducing right away. She immediately recognized that she was eating a LOT of cheese and ranch dressing. She sent me a text one day just "shocked" at how many calories were in a single serving of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. This is that "awareness" I wanted her to get...most people have no clue how many calories they are actually consuming. With the ice cream, most people don't even stop at one serving. I'm glad she is learning and hope her success continues.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Taking my lumps

I have no excuse...I ate poorly this last weekend. I made sausage gravy and biscuits on Sunday....and ate liberally (SO DAMN GOOD!). And Saturday I ate an untold number of little smokies wrapped in crescent rolls...and a craft party. And I'm sure there was other food at some point. It wasn't pretty. So the gain is well deserved. At least I worked out on Saturday. Sunday...not so much.

I continue trying to get my exercise in. Also this week I purchased a "Active Link" thingy from WW because it was stupid cheap ($5 for the unit, $5 per month if you have eTools, which I already have for free through work), so now I'm using that...and now I'm realizing just how much activity I do NOT get during a work day. So...I'm now on a mission to go for a walk every couple of hours to change that. I LOVE bio-feedback. I'm sure I will move on to a fitbit or jawbone or something else soon because I know this little gadget isn't going to totally give me what I want...but for 5 bucks, I couldn't resist.

I've been down with some minor bug the last few days that gave me a low grade no exercise since Monday morning. I'm feeling better today. Hope to get a HIIT routine in after work tonight.

I'm going to attempt some major life changes in the coming weeks. Here we go:
  1. Break ambien dependency. Heaven help me.
  2. Achieve job satisfaction by trying to be the best at what I'm currently doing instead of longing to do something different.
  3. Help others in their weight loss efforts (I have a friend who is new to losing and really has no clue about calories, which BLOWS. MY. MIND. since I've been doing this since I was 12 and to me it is like breathing. Anyway...we are going to try to support each other in this process.
  4. Be more active with not only my daily hour of exercise, but also movement throughout the day.
That's all big stuff...the ambien one especially as it can EASILY impact all the others. I think I just need to quit cold turkey and accept the fact that I won't sleep well for a while...which in turn will affect my energy...leading to not wanting to exercise...and lower mood...affecting work performance. This could get really ugly. But I feel like I need to try. As it is right now I'm "scared" to try to go to sleep without it...that's not healthy.

I need to go focus on number 2 now...stop dinking around here. Later!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Another Wednesday Weigh-In

Yee-Haw! I'm definitely enjoying the downward trend!

I'm also enjoying my current eating "program"...that still allows me yummy things, like cake...if I plan for it.

I do miss diving head-first into a bag of tortilla chips with some delicious green salsa...but for now, the numbers on the scale are more important to me.

Yesterday wrapped up my 17 week WW program that I signed up through at work. After 17 weeks I was down exactly 10 lbs (I did NOT stick with the program the whole time!). $93, I paid roughly $5.47 per pound lost and lost .6 lbs per week. I probably shouldn't look at it that way...because that way annoys me. The reason I signed up for it was for the scale accountability...and that did, for the most part, work. So...with that said...I re-registered for the next 17 week session. This session goes through February... which hopefully will keep me honest through the holidays. That is the intent, anyway.

If only I could lose "2 lbs a week" for the next 17 weeks...that would put me at 153...which would be money well spent! But...I know how I am and I know I'm up against the I really can just "do my best"...and try to keep the workouts going strong and make the best of this next 17 weeks.

This last weekend I spent Friday and Saturday at an all-day conference at a hotel. To be honest, I didn't do so bad with the food on Friday until the conference ended...then the mental exhaustion seemed to lead to some very bad food choices. The second day I think my brain gave in to the "if it's there, you must eat it" ridiculousness and I ended up consuming a bagel with cream cheese at breakfast and several cookies throughout the day, even though I wasn't really hungry. If I had simply stuck with my protein shake for breakfast and the meat and cheese out of the sandwich they provided for lunch I would have been fine...but I didn't. Nobody to blame but me. The cookies weren't even that good...that's the killer part! I shouldn't waste precious calories on crappy food! UGH! I make some AMAZING cookies...that hotel version has NOTHING on my brown butter chocolate chip cookies...NOTHING!

So anyway, as usual, my food choices are going well throughout the week but off the rails on the weekend. Clearly this week I didn't do that much damage, so I'm not going to complain too much. I think the key for the weekends is limiting just how off the rails I go. If I can limit it to one or two meals instead of two entire days, that won't be so bad at all. Especially if I keep up the exercise.

Speaking of exercise...last 7 days not quite as successful as the previous 7, but I did get a good dose of HIIT in yesterday, which I am pleased with. I hope to get an hour of elliptical in this afternoon after work.

I just now, at 8:49 am, got hungry (I've been up since 6)...I'm trying to pay attention to actual hunger instead of just eating because it is time to eat. I'm not sure if this is ideal, but for right now I feel like it's an important step in getting back to band basics in as much as it is helping me to realize that the band does actually help me to not be hungry. I'm trying to be more "aware". The food plan for today is as follows:

Cottage Cheese
Asian Broccoli Salad with Chicken

Nugo Bar
Spaghetti Squash and Meat Sauce


Seems kinda light...but I'm not very hungry right now so the thought of adding additional food at the moment isn't very appealing. At least I have wiggle room if I get hungry later. Also...I just discovered SparkPeople does some rounding up in the Protein column, because SP has the same amounts I have listed but totals out to 52 grams of protein for the day. Conspiracy!

I will post separately about the conference, because I want to personally "journal" about the experience. It was the Working 2 Walk Spinal Cord Injury Science and Advocacy Symposium put together by It was fascinating, informative, and truly gave me pause to reflect on exactly how far I've come...and that I may have a story that needs to be told. I'm still internally processing it all, but I'm so glad I went.

That's it for now...I need to get to workin...

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Wednesday Weigh-In

Well...lookie there. It's a loss! At least compared to one week ago today. So I guess there is some real advantage to posting a weekly weigh-in because I truly thought it was a slight gain. This is because I weigh every morning and know that sometime in the last 7 days I had dipped a toe below 190, so was fully anticipating having to write about my GAIN. This is a rather pleasant surprise.

I was PLANNING to explain that I was sure the gain was likely only water weight due to being super-consistent about exercising this week! That's right! I have gotten in FIVE...that is FIVE ...workouts in the last 7 days! I'm super pleased with myself. I did 3 HIIT routines and 2 days of elliptical for 40 minutes the first and 60 min the second. I'm sore.

I also tracked all my food for 5 of the last 7 days...AND kept the calories around 1200.

All things going well. But to really add to the momentum, last night I listened to this podcast that I had downloaded quite some time ago but never listened to...and it gave me a fantastic shot of motivation! It was Lapband Gal's appearance on the Weight Loss Surgery Podcast. Man alive! fantastic episode full of awesome, AWESOME reminders of how this should work. It was just awesome....thanks LBG!!! I needed that! I recommend all bandsters go have a matter where you are in your process.

I was lucky enough to meet LBG in person at a mini-bandster get together very early on in my post-op life. She has truly rocked this band thing. She uses it as a tool to help her feel full on smaller portions (i.e., 1 cup of food at a meal) but has never been "restricted" and "can" eat anything (nothing is off limits) but chooses not to. That is where I am with this current "green zone". Everything has gone down, even breakfast. I've only had issue ONE time where I ate a very large bite of chicken that I did not chew well enough. That one was on me...not my band. This is the proper way to be utilizing this tool. It should never be about feeling "restricted" should be about making you feel content on smaller amounts for longer periods of time.

Then I found this gem...a reminder of how I was eating back when I was a smidge too tight and/or tilted. I could still get food down...but chocolate, and chips, and ice-cream went down "easier" I gravitated toward them instead of focusing on solid proteins that would make me feel full for a nice long period of time.

I know...this is all "duh" stuff...but sometimes it's nice to have the reminders shoved in your face. I feel invigorated. :)

That mini-bandster get together...though it only happened once for me...was so valuable. I drove down to Portland for the day to meet those lovely ladies. I'm just going to open this up that if anyone is ever in the Seattle area and wants to meet...I'm game. I actually don't know any other bandsters in this area, but I would love to. I miss LBG. She doesn't really post to her blog anymore so I sought her out on FB last night. The FB thing is kinda weird. I'm actually NOT open on FB about being I'm trying to figure out how to covertly join some groups/add some people/like some pages without FB blabbing my band business to all my friends on my feed. Sounds easy...but I actually seemed to go around in circles with it last night, which was rather annoying. I'm usually not one to complain about FB related matters, but the security/privacy options in this area are disjointed and illogical and ultimately, I believe, not functioning properly.

Anyway...all that said I have a plan for today:

Steel cut oatmeal
Smart Ones Chicken Enchiladas Suiza (a yummy favorite!)

Nugo Bar
Chicken breast and refried beans with hot sauce
Protein Shake


Post-work exercise: 60 minutes elliptical

So...that's my story and I'm sticking to it! I posted now I must make it so, right???

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Green Zone Greatness

This....this is how I remember it being.

I just walked to the cafeteria...not that hungry, but knowing that at some point I would be and my afternoon schedule was going to make it hard to get another chance to get lunch. Lately I've been pretty much exclusively getting my favorite salad, which is 2 oz chicken, 3 Tbsp kidney beans, 2 Tbsp bacon bits, .5 oz of walnuts, 2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar and 2 tsp olive oil, all in 1-1.5 cups of spinach...I'm addicted to this combination...but at 372 calories, it is calorically spendy for a lunch! It does pack 25 grams of protein though...and it's so yummy.

But today I wasn't feeling like having that...I wasn't even craving the combination of flavors and textures as I always do, whether hungry or not. I just felt like I needed some sort of fuel to get me through the rest of the day, but I didn't really care what. So I walked out of there with a cup of cottage cheese and an apple. All for the bargain price of 292 calories and 27 grams of protein. I love feeling in control of my hunger and food choices.

I must be in the green zone. It has been 1 month since my last fill. I think I'm at 7.25cc in my 11cc band. I hope this level keeps me in a good space for a while.

Scale was down this morning from yesterdays post...I hope that trend continues! All this WHILE including a piece of cake in my menu each day for the last few days. I've kept my calories under 1300 each day. If I can eat "one piece" every opposed to 1/4 of a sheet cake every weekend, maybe I can make this work. That's my working theory, anyway.

Sore today from a workout yesterday. Hopefully I will get another workout in tonight when I get home from the office.

Baby steps.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Wednesday Weigh-in

Following Dinnerland's lead:'s 9:45a.m., and I have 40 minutes of exercise in for today. :)

That is 40 minutes more than I have done in a couple weeks...gotta start somewhere.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I want to feel good about myself again

Why is getting back into an exercise routine so damn hard? UGH!!!

I miss the feeling of tight/firm muscles. I want it back!

I want my trainer back. :( 

End rant