After feeling like I have been beating myself up pretty badly lately, I sat down and tried to focus on the "positive" things I have going for me right now:
- I have not PB'd or vomited since having the band completely unfilled in April. I think I have successfully allowed that funky little pouch to heal.
- I want to exercise, and I am able to exercise. I just need to commit to the exercise. I have time. I have programs. I have ability. I have no excuses.
- I have avoided the office candy bowl and most unhealthy choices in the cafeteria since returning to work. (There was free cake on Wednesday...I ate one "normal size" serving, and that was all)
- I'm doing better with drinking water, especially while at work. I need to bring that focus home again.
- Having my old blogs to reference has been ENORMOUSLY beneficial to help me see where I need to make adjustments. Part of the reason I write a blog post when I get into these BAD times is with the intent of maintaining the ONE thing that I've consistently used as a point of reference. My hope is to start adding positive posts again. Posts with the weight going DOWN again. Posts with progress pictures again. Posts that remind me of what works when I'm doing things RIGHT.
- With that...I decided yesterday that no matter what, no matter how bad...no matter how shameful, that I would post my weight today. It's time to be accountable again.
In trying to get my mojo back, I've been reading online a bunch of things. I found this link to be full of helpful reminders. It's all stuff I know...but it's always nice to read it all in one place, and from people that have been successful.
Food plan for today:
It's becoming apparent to me the last couple days that I don't have an adequate plan for dinner when I get home...which may be helping the binging problem along. Also...having binge-worthy food in the house is a problem. I see I need to be more prepared. I think I keep going in with the " I have about 300 calories left to spend when I get home, so I will be ok" attitude, and then I get home with no ACTUAL plan and screw it up and eat everything in sight.
I need a plan and then I need to stick to the plan. That is the goal for the next few days.
Perhaps tonight's dinner will be one of my favorite frozen meals...while I figure out what the hell it was I used to eat for dinner and make sure my cabinets are properly stocked.
Also...just as a note if the peeps at SparkPeople were ever to come across this particular blog in the great big blogosphere...it would be nice to be able to track a "plan" vs. "actual". I'm probably the only person that wants this feature, but I want to be able to write out my plan for the day (like I did in the image above", and then somehow show what I have actually consumed, like maybe a checkbox or something next to each thing if I actually ate it. Just a weird thought. Probably not helpful to anyone in the long run.