Friday, July 22, 2011

XXL is larger than Women's 2X? Who knew?

I learned this today after I brought home two tube tops I bought on clearance from Old Navy...just like the tube top I ordered online, but in XXL instead of 2X. HUGE difference! Is this like everywhere or is this limited to Old Navy? Am I really in a XL or an L now? I'm so confused.

I had had an EPIC sliming/PB'ing experience today. Oopsie. I got up at 6am, worked out, drank a protein shake and then ran off to start my day of errands. By noon I was starving for lunch and went to a Teriyaki place who was crazy busy. By the time I finally got my order I was FAMISHED and I apparently ate too fast. Not much, mind you...I got exactly 3 bites of chicken and 1 gyoza down before I got stuck. I know I didn't chew the chicken enough, and I know my bites were WAY too big. But wow...I've never had a stuck episode like this before.

I slimed/foamed/PB'd for TWO HOURS...IN PUBLIC! UGH!!!  Thank goodness I had a roll of my dog's poopy bags in the car. When I first got stuck I thought it wasn't going to be that bad, I just ate a little too fast but was not really stuck, so I stopped eating and went into the Goodwill to shop for some pants. I walked in...started getting all juicy and walked right back out to my car. With each step I was praying that I could at least make it to my car so that I could hide behind my car door for whatever was about to happen. Remember, I walk with a crutch...there is no "running" for me...so I just had to go as fast as I could...which isn't very fast...to get back to the car. Once I finally PB'd (after 15 minutes of sliming), I thought it was all over and headed back into the store...NOPE. WRONG....walked right back out of the store AGAIN...repeating the entire process. After 30 minutes of that nightmare, I decide to drive on to the next location...I didn't want to walk back into Goodwill for a third time.

So now I'm driving in my car while still continuing to slime....but fortunately I've lost enough weight that I can bend over in my car behind the steering wheel so no one can hopefully see me spitting into a dog poop bag at every red light...which there seemed to be a ton of.  I get to Old Navy and park, and continue sliming/spitting and then thank heavens PB'ing AGAIN into the bag. Ok...3 PB's...that's gotta be enough to be in the clear now, right? So I try a couple sips of water to rinse out my mouth and walk in the store. Fortunately, I took another dog poop bag in the store in my purse...because it wasn't even 5 minutes before I was standing IN THE STORE PBing into the bag. UGH...another hasty retreat back to the car and another 40 minutes and 2 PB's more before I finally finished. At some point I think I started bargaining with God to let it end...then towards the end I wondered at what point I should call my surgeon and ask for an unfill...I was really getting worried that it was never going to end. It did, thank heavens, finally clear and I was able to get on with my day.

So...now I'm on liquids for the rest of today and I think mushies starting tomorrow evening...gotta check my manual on that. I'm so mad at myself...but I'm so glad it did end without me needing an unfill. UGH...such a public incident!

I brought the leftover Teriyaki Chicken home and CHOPPED IT INTO TINY PIECES before storing it in the freezer...so hopefully this won't happen again.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

This post is not for the squeamish...

WARNING!!! GRAPHIC POTTY ISSUES AHEAD!!!




I don’t feel well, and I’m not sure what the hell is going on. I’ve been having “bathroom” issues for a couple weeks now but this week they got much worse to the point that Monday night I drank a bottle of Magnesium Citrate just to sort of “flush the system” and get whatever evil was lurking inside of me out. It seems to have done the trick as I’m no longer passing mucous every time I go to the bathroom (this is what had been happening, even when it was just to pee, and then was starting to happen when just exercising!) at this point.

However, I feel extremely unwell….I keep falling asleep at my desk at work, and what’s worse, I have to fight REALLY hard to stay awake while I’m driving! This is getting scary! Today, not only am I super tired, but I’m also not hungry. Yesterday I think I came in at about 1000 calories, but only because a couple hundred were in Gatorade to re-hydrate. Today I’m under 700 and don’t want to work out and just want to crawl into bed when I get home from work. I guess at some point I should call a doctor. I had told myself that if the “system flush” didn’t improve the mucous thing that I would definitely call the doctor but that seems to be better now, but these new symptoms have emerged. Maybe tomorrow will be better???

I do know for sure that I don’t have a fever and aside from the other night when I took the magnesium laxative, I haven’t had any abdominal discomfort. I also know for sure that I’m not pregnant…cuz I checked today just to be sure.

All this not eating and system flushing has me down to 213 pounds…but I wouldn’t recommend this as a weight loss technique.

As a side note…when I was at Target today to buy the pregnancy test, I picked up a clearance pair of size 16 (not 16W, regular 16) capris that LOOKED like they might fit. Apparently this illness has my perception thrown off, because they didn’t. *sigh*….oh well.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Whoosh!

216.8…I’m headed down again.


When I was a big “Atkins” message board junky, we used to talk about the “wait and whoosh” type losers…and I knew then that this was what I am….someone who loses a bunch during one part of the month and then the scale jumps up and down the rest of the month…so you just have to wait for the whoosh of weight loss to come along. Mine apparently came this last week since I just posted about “still being at 220” a week ago.

I have reclaimed my fridge and thrown away much of the nasty temptations out of the house. It’s strange…some tempting foods I can keep around without them being a problem…but I have my limits, and some food is more tempting than others. For example: there was a container of someone else’s homemade chocolate chip cookies…they weren’t even “good” chocolate chip cookies…but they were there, calling my name all the time. Those I found hard to resist for some reason. I finally just threw them away. However, in my cabinet is a package of mini reese’s peanut butter cups…arguably my most favorite candy of all time. That package has been in there for over a month. I can EASILY eat only one serving of these a WEEK (a serving is 7 pieces at 120 calories if I remember correctly), just eating one or two every couple days to give me a little tiny sweet fix. How come these don’t call my name from the other rooms in the house? Also, I made cinnamon rolls for me and a friend this weekend. There is still one sitting in the fridge. I forget it’s there because it’s not beckoning me either. But the leftovers from that party? It’s like they were taunting me. I don’t get my brain…I really don’t.

I did end up turning the rest of those buns into bread crumbs which are now bagged up in my freezer. No wonder “breaded” food is so high calorie (even if you don’t consider the oil). One bun does NOT make a lot of crumbs! The chili I made from the burgers….OMG…so delicious. I think I should make chili this way from now on!

I’m getting my groove back with the 6 days a week of exercise…but I’m not 100% yet. I fully intended on getting up early this morning to do today’s workout because I have a Neighborhood Watch meeting after work tonight, but my tummy is giving me strange issues the last couple days (by tummy I mean intestines…not the banded portion) so I didn’t work out as I had planned. Now I gotta figure out a way to make it happen WITH the meeting tonight so I don’t miss today all together.

My wardrobe is continuing to shrink. My closet, which used to be stuffed to the maximum, is now only half full. I did get my order from Old Navy the other day and am SOOOOO pleased with how well everything fit and looked. It was fun to try on new clothes in smaller sizes and actually LIKE how they look. I’m still just in an 18 pant, though I probably could zip up a size 16 in the cute shorts I bought from ON but they probably wouldn’t look good. I have 2 plaid skirts from Eddie Bauer in size 18 from back in the day (that is a “true” size 18, not an 18W) that I can zip up now but I think they still will have to wait another 10 lbs before they will be suitable to wear in public. At least they zip again…there was a time I couldn’t get them past my knees.

Being banded during summer “festivals” has been interesting. I’ve gone to two so far. Two weeks ago I went to the “Taste of Tacoma” food festival. I was fortunately there with friends and they allowed me bites of things they were eating…which is by far the best way to do that event because then you actually get to try different things. In my opinion they don’t do these food festivals well. Why on earth would you sell FULL size large portions of food at an event that is intended to give people a chance to TRY different local restaurants? They are soooo missing the boat on this. If I was running the show, each place would be required to offer at LEAST 2 sample size menu items at reduced price (like maybe $1-$2 depending on the size)….but no, that is not how they operate. If you are LUCKY they might have one item set at a sample size for $2, but it is not a requirement so most don’t bother with it. As a result, if you want to eat, for the most part you are forced to pick one place and go for a full meal. Like I said, I was lucky that I was there with two other girls who let me just have a bite of what they ordered. In the end I did also buy an elephant ear…a festival favorite of mine. I ate about ¼ of it, sharing the rest with my friends. Pretty good day if you ask me.

Then this last weekend I went to another street fair with one of my friends. Early in the day we split a corn dog (she isn’t banded…just willing to share), and then later I had a Gyro…omg…I think I’m in love with Gyro’s now. It was from an authentic Greek restaurant. Unfortunately the thing was HUGE and I wanted to finish it so bad. We did not split this one because she doesn’t like Feta and I do…it was hard to throw 1/3 of it away but I did. It was so tasty and delicious though. But that was ALL I had at that festival. Now don’t get me wrong…I was a little “bummed” that I couldn’t gorge on all the tasty items they had out there like I used to…but look at my weight! I lost weight this weekend! That would have never happened pre-band!

There is YET ANOTHER festival this weekend. I’m so excited to go, and so pleased at how much easier it is to control myself in these situations!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Independence

My weight has not changed. I’m just at 220…for many reasons that I’m sure are my own fault. However, it could be so much worse if I were not banded. I’d probably be at 250 already by now if it wasn’t for this little restriction I do thankfully have. I lost “the sweet spot” about a week ago. I don’t know why (or maybe I do...maybe it's all in my head)…but it’s gone again. I’m not ready to ask for a fill though. I think there are a few things I can tweak on my own before I do that.

The last 10 days have been hectic. My roommate who has lived with me for the last year has been gearing up to get married and move out over 4th of July weekend. I did a massive “purge” of useless crap and held a garage sale the weekend of the 25th. Partly to clean house…partly to make up for some of the lost “cash reserves” that I won’t have now that she has moved on. The garage sale went well…I made $350 over two days. The first day I did some yard work during the sale that I’m totally counting as my workout for the day. I had to trim a hedge that had grown above the electric meter using the old fashioned NON ELECTRIC hedge trimmers…I worked my arms to LITERAL fatigue. I couldn’t even grip a water cup when I was done my arms were so totally wiped out and I was totally shaky. Overall the whole garage sale experience was completely exhausting.

When it was coming to a close on the second day, there was no one home to give me a “lunch break”, so I rather unfortunately ordered a pizza. “Unfortunate” because I discovered I could still eat more than I should have been able to. It was regular crust, too…not that cracker thin stuff. Ugh…I wish I hadn’t learned this. I think it was all downhill from there. I didn’t eat the whole thing…just 3 pieces…but it was truly 2 pieces more than I should have.

I did continue to work out strongly following the pizza incident, although the months of May and June were not NEAR as impressive as April. I can, however, still say with confidence that I “generally” worked out 5 days a week…except one, where I worked out only 4. I want to be at 6 days again though…I need to get back on track with that. Perhaps now I will be motivated to get there.


May Workout Calendar

June Workout Calendar

The 4th of July holiday weekend was just a plain nightmare…from the food to the toxic crap going on around me. The roommate is in a “not great” relationship that degraded several times over the last two weeks to the point of the wedding being called off…twice. The second time was the night before the wedding. The myriad of crap surrounding that situation, including me trying to hold her together, and trying to throw her a going away party, and unexpectedly having to deal with other issues and surprises that cropped up along the way…it was just overly toxic. Toxic to the point that after the ceremony on Monday, I was done. I needed to be alone…and unfortunately, I “needed”, or wanted, or chose to have…whatever you want to call it…a drink. Sadly, I chose a very sugary drink, so not only was I going to have my usual “after effects” that alcohol tends to have on my weight loss, but I also had probably about 700 extra calories. I don’t truly know…cuz I didn’t care. I just wanted to be in a different space for a while.

The going away party netted a massive amount of “leftovers” that have been in my kitchen haunting me since Saturday. However, thanks to the band…the things I did partake in were limited…thankfully! I’m also pretty impressed with myself for how I chose to “utilize” some of the leftovers. The party was potluck/BBQ style with me providing the meat and everyone else doing the rest. The fiancĂ©, unfortunately chose to cook ALL the meat ahead of people actually arriving (which to me is stupid at a BBQ…but whatever) which we kept warm in chafing dishes throughout the party. Well…needless to say there were tons of burgers and hot dogs left. It pained me to throw them ALL away, so I actually made two pots of chili with the cubed-up burgers (which smells pretty dang good!), one batch of sloppy joes (delicious!) and one batch of mac n’ cheese with hot dogs (a personal favorite of mine), all portioned up and tossed in the freezer. I’m pretty impressed with myself for this…I don’t like being wasteful and we threw away soooo much food! All the pasta salads and potato salads and beans, and half the cake and chips, ugh…I wish I could have somehow given it to the needy or something but you know certain things can’t be kept after they have been sitting out too long. I still have a billion buns, too…I froze six of the burger buns (cuz I can use the bottom bun for a sloppy-ish joe) but honestly I just don’t eat buns anymore. What the heck do I do with the rest of these dang buns? Ideas? Anyone? Hey….bread crumbs maybe? Hmmm….

Speaking of buns...I attempted to eat a hot dog with a bun on Saturday. Guess who got stuck on the last bite? Thank goodness though! Cuz otherwise there would have been way too much consumption of other food items going on! I needed the kick in the…errr…stomach.

Now that the roommate is OFFICIALLY moved out, and since today was garbage day and I once again have room in my trash bin, I can clean my fridge. YAY! I know it sounds stupid, but I needed this moment! I need to get the temptations out of my house. The last couple of weeks there has been one thing after another in my fridge and I mostly can handle it, but as the toxicity level increased, my resistance decreased. Now that she is gone, I can have the fridge to myself again for a while and get back on track. The fridge purge is ON for tonight! After my workout, of course. ;)

Unfortunately with the departure of my roommate I can no longer afford my personal trainer. However, I have copied most of our workout regimens to PowerPoint presentations that are timed to prompt me to change to the next exercise interval. I will lose out on the “payment motivation” (i.e., motivated by the fact that I’m paying so much money) and the fact that he used to bring his 22lb curl bar…I will have to do all the exercises with only dumbbells that I currently have on hand. I’m bummed about this, but perhaps when I finally get a new roommate I will be able to hire him again for the “next level” of training.

Living without roomy income also means clothing store purchases will be few and far between. I am feeling VERY dowdy right now though, so I did spend $150 on 6 items from Old Navy online the other day to get me through the summer. One dress was $40 but the rest were relatively inexpensive. I can’t wait for the shipment to come in so I can have some summer clothes that look good. I’m wearing an 18W now…but all my summer pants are 20-22 and just looking frumpy and I SWEAR I have no tops to speak of (perhaps a slight exaggeration…but that’s how it feels.)

Tonight is my first night in the house all alone. I’m totally looking forward to it!