Monday, May 30, 2011

Backslide to the 230's...I really didn't miss them but they are visiting again.

I know some of it is salt...and some more of it is cycle-weight...but some of it is probably honest to goodness fat...and I deserve it.

I just came back from 4 days away with my friends and I did not track a single bite of food that went into my mouth...food that included cookies and chocolates. Yeah...I know.

So I'm home now, and it's time to get back in the saddle.

I did exercise 2 out of the 4 days I was gone, and walked a TON...so I feel good about THAT part. I also didn't drink any alcohol, which I think I have found to cause a major change in my matabolism in the week that follows consuming it even in minor quantities. So...I feel good about that as well. The rest...well...those were the choices I made. No one to blame but me.

I'm fairly certain my period is going to start really soon, since I was CRYING at scenes in stupid tv shows....so this week might be difficult since my pie-hole always seems to never get full enough during this period of time. Ugh. However, I did have a fill last monday (just .25 cc) that is just now starting to kick in...so maybe that will assist in the "shoving food down my gullet" department.

My goals this week are liquids/mushies for the next two days (because I failed to mention I also just had my first vomiting episode today. This, too, was my fault) and some good old fashioned hard core sweat inducing workouts. What else can I do but keep on keepin on?

In the mean time, here are some pics from my weekend gettaway...

I intentionally wore the same shirt on the last day that I wore on this same trip around the same time last year to be able to do some "before/after" type comparisons. First...here is the before:






And now this year:








I just like this pic cuz it makes me look skinny :)
I didn't buy this hat.
Instead I bought THIS hat...cuz it had built-in hand warmers! BONUS!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Goofy Pics :)

So...here I am...on my period...and able to eat like a cow. I hope this ends soon. I'd really like the scale to start moving down again...and I'd really like to feel like I have some bit of control over my food again...that would be nice. The crap we women go through...sheesh...so not funny.

In the mean time...check this out! Yesterday I walked through the park and back to my neighborhood watch meeting...which I'm counting as 20 minutes of exercise. But not only that, I also did 1 hour on the elliptical...and I took a picture of a couple milestones. 

First....2000 REVOLUTIONS! Wohooo! I'm getting faster!

Second...it says I burned 500 calories...I don't know if it's right, but it's not near as "forgiving" with the calories as the ellipticals at the gym I used to go to where 1 hour would supposedly net me 1200 calories. I don't know if it's even close to right, but I don't care...I just liked the number. :)

Now a bunch of goofy shots of my sweaty self...It's hard to take a self pic!


 These were the best of the 10 I attempted...

Ok, after a while the flash was just blinding so I started closing my eyes.
Well this just doesn't even look like me...so goofy I had to post it!
I know...I'm silly. I believe this is one of my finer qualities.

Can I just say...CHECK OUT THOSE ARMS! Now...what you can't see, due to a fantastic camera angle, is my bat wings...but DAMN! Don't they look a little sculpted from these pics??? I'm quite proud of my little guns. :)  Now if the batwings would just go away....

But batwings aren't my only problem...what the hell is THIS???


Do you see those wrinkles in my neck skin???? WTH? I'm not old enough for granny neck! ACK!!!

I'm going to go workout now...and dream of a world where I don't have dunlap belly, batwings, turkey waddle neck or cellulite...so you know...fantasy land. :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Warning! Hormones Ahead!!!

Full on weekend meltdown. Core reactor overload. It wasn’t pretty.

Saturday wasn’t too bad. I got up, had a protein shake to start the day. Ate relatively well through the remainder of the day…did about 45 minutes of a hard workout. So not too bad. Till that night anyway…

After midnight…I succumbed to peer pressure and a growling stomach and indulged in 3 mozzarella sticks dipped in marinara sauce and easily a serving or TWO of potato chips and onion dip.

But wait…there is more.

Sunday being mother’s day, I was apparently feeling a little emotional. I didn’t realize it till later though. I promised to make breakfast for my girlfriends…which I over-indulged on to start with….but then it was all down-hill from there. More potato chips and onion dip were involved…and so were an abundance of Oreos. And ½ of a skinny cow ice cream sandwich….and a serving of my pasta and meat sauce. There may or may not have been some M&M's...I don’t know the total calorie count…I stopped counting after inhaling the 4th Oreo. Clearly THIS is how I got fat to begin with. Incidentally…I don’t think a band adjustment would have made a difference on this day. I made poor food choices and grazed on those choices all day long. The only thing the band helped was breakfast and dinner.

I spent the entire day cooking and watching movies with my girlfriends. I didn’t get a single heartbeat of exercise in. I was a total slug.

I didn’t realize that I was feeling emotional till I went to bed though. At that point, I broke down and sobbed for about an hour and a half. I was a disaster. The whole missing my mom on mother’s day compounded by not being a mom myself as I had always wanted was just more than I could bare. I guess I had been emotionally eating all day and didn’t realize it. I dunno…

And then today…I got my period. A few days early…but it explains the epic meltdown yesterday and the water weight issues I was having last week even before my colossal inhalation of chips and dip.

My scale is at 231 this morning. I almost wasn’t going to bother weighing myself…but ultimately decided I needed to know just how bad it was so I could watch it come off. I know a couple pounds of that is still water from my salt infused binge this weekend…but there will be fatty repercussions…I’m sure of it.

On a happier note…I did do some power-cooking yesterday. Whipped up two packaged soups, oatmeal and pasta with meat sauce. My freezer is fully stocked again…so no excuses, right?

This is what the top shelf of my freezer looks like with all my 1 cup portions of food for breakfast and lunches. From Left to right you are looking at Authentic Tortilla Soup, Pasta with Meat Sauce, Potato Soup with turkey kielbasa, packaged Tortilla soup with added Chicken, Black Bean Chili and what’s left of my amazing Lasagna. The oatmeal is actually on another shelf all together.






Food Item

Calories

Protein

Fat

Carb

Authentic Tortilla Soup Broth

74

3

2

15

Pasta with Meat Sauce

322

17

11

43

Potato Soup with Turkey Kielbasa

229

9

8

29

Packaged Tortilla Soup with Added Chicken

145

16

2

20

Black Bean Chili

312

30

7

36

Lasagna

289

17

14

29

Steal Cut Oatmeal

150

5

3

27



This is how I procrastinate doing a workout on a saturday...I let my dog hold me down. He's so big and vicious...I couldn't dare move or he'd attack...I'm sure of it! :)



I don't adore this picture, but I think it will be a good future reference point. I took this today in all my bloated puffiness.

Oh how I hope for a better week....preferably one with a 5 pound water loss. A girl can dream, right?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

I love being banded…but I swear it’s the weirdest thing…

Monday…so perfectly restricted (no PB’ng or heartburn or anything) that I barely get 1000 calories in.

Tuesday I’m famished…I eat every meal, including an extra one before bed putting me at 1450 calories for the day.

Wednesday, ate more calories than I should at lunch, but that’s ok cuz it held me all the way till midnight…when suddenly I was starving. Ended the day with 1400 again.

And then here we are today. I thought I was going to be famished again all day since the day started out that way….but it’s now dinner time, I’m technically “supposed” to eat right now…but I don’t want to. If I skip this meal (as I’m beginning to suspect I will), I will end the day with LESS than 1000 calories.

Frito Bandito is a fickle little effer.

But believe me…I’m not complaining. Living the banded life is the happiest life I think I’ve ever had. I do OCCASIONALLY obsess over food (like last night when I suddenly became aware that if I didn’t have a midnight snack, there was no way in hell I was going to get any sleep), but most of the time I don’t have to “think” so much about it. It’s nice to not have that insane desire to run to the local drive through and grab a quick bite of 1200 calories. I don’t miss those days at all.

Scale is up…but I know it’s water. I’m on day 5 of 10 days of progesterone right now and I’m fairly certain it’s causing some serious water retention. 3 pounds of fat in 2 days…not possible. So I’m not concerned. I’m just looking forward to when it starts moving down again. I saw 227 the other day…I’m dying to see a 226!!!

Happy Cinco de Mayo, ya’ll. I’m going home to a torture session with the trainer. Looking forward to it!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Weekend in Review


Still in a happy place with band level. Today marks 4 weeks since my last fill, the time at which I was advised to “evaluate my fill level” to determine if I need to come in for a top off, and I honestly think I’m ok right now. I’m actually NOT always hungry for my between meal snacks which is making it slightly challenging (emphasis on the word “slightly”) to get 1200 calories in during the day. This is pretty much the perfect place to be if you ask me. As an example of how things are going…today I had only ½ of my 1 cup serving of Irish oatmeal for breakfast. The rest is sitting here…waiting for me to be hungry again. Since I haven’t been hungry, I have now also missed my 10am snack of 5 mini-crackers and a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese for 70 calories. I’m excited about my lunch of lasagna and a pudding…but if I successfully finish those things I’ll still be 140 calories behind for my day. Such a dilemma! LOL!!! The rest of the day’s plan includes a mid-day snack of my protein shake, a dinner of a SmartOnes Spinach and Ricotta pasta dish (a new favorite!) and a cheese-stick for after my workout tonight. All these should fit in perfectly…but what about the 140 calories that are getting pushed back? I guess we’ll see what happens.


Incidentally, I have this issue less on the weekends only because I tend to eat higher calorie meals on occasion….like Saturday morning, where I couldn’t wait to have the chicken parmesan that was left-over from Friday’s dinner for Breakfast. Yeah…yummy! I don’t need traditional breakfast foods…I’m good with whatever sounds delicious…which is calorically unfortunate sometimes.

Speaking of Friday night dinner…I had a date. Don’t get excited…I only went on this date to get the guy to quit calling me. Oy…this is how it happens in my world. The ones I DON’T want attention from won’t leave me alone…the ones I do…well…you know. Anyway…it’s a long story that starts in 2005…when we last dated…which he has apparently completely forgotten. Yep….I’m utterly forgettable. How do you forget a girl who has a massive scar down her chest and walks with a crutch? WTH? Really? Anyway, after telling him that we already had gone out 6 years ago, he continued to call me and text me DAILY for the last two weeks…which I didn’t respond to. Finally I responded to him via text message that said “I don’t think it’s worth it for you to call. Whatever happened 6 years ago, obviously we didn’t click. And since I never heard from you again after having sex with you last time, if we did go out this time there would definitely be no sex…so what’s the point? Sorry…but good luck in your search”…to which he replied that he just wanted to take me to dinner. I finally relented in hopes of at least getting a free meal and a good story out of it.

So we met up at BJ’s for dinner on Friday afternoon. He wanted me to order the works….appetizer, meal, desert…and oh how I wanted to just to be a witch…but I didn’t. I ordered the Chicken Parmesan which once delivered to the table I IMMEDIATELY asked for a box. I think there were TWO chicken breasts on my plate! The portion was MASSIVE. I ate about 1/3rd of the chicken and put the rest in the to-go container so that I would quit picking at it. It was so damn good though…I ate another 3rd of it later that night and the last third for breakfast the next morning. I’m so ordering this again.

I was home from the date by 6:30…and then waited for the emotion-stirring ex to come over to spend the remainder of the evening with me…because I enjoy torturing myself. We had an AMAZING evening….of course…talking and laughing and “stuff” till 4am. He even effing sang a little song to me…if I wasn’t so hell-bent on trying to NOT fall for him again, that would have completely sent me over the edge. But…I’m on a mission not to fall…and I’m almost succeeding.

Saturday I got up, ate my leftovers, and then proceeded to do a hardcore hour long workout (probably partially trying to wipe the memory of Mr. X singing “Rainbow Connection” in his best Kermit voice while we laid in bed) where I generated a good, hearty sweat and maxed out some muscles. During my workout , the clouds actually parted in the sky and the sun emerged…for the FIRST time since last summer. It was GORGEOUS out. So…on a whim…I did something I’ve never done in the 7 years I have owned a house across the street from a large city park…I decided to go for a walk. I grabbed my dog’s leash and we went for a 25 minute stroll. It was incredible to feel liberated enough to do this! It helps immensely that the recent park renovation included finally putting handicap ramps on the sidewalks in front of my house (I literally could not get off my own sidewalk for 6 years!) and handy cement walking trails around the entire park. Without these things, I still would have never gone for this walk….but I did. And I did it again on Sunday!

Also on Sunday I got up and did 40 minutes on the elliptical and then I went to see Fast 5 with my movie buddy Alan…at the most awesomest theater…EVER! They have removed all the old-school theatre seats and replaced them with fully reclining electric leather seats. OMG…I’m never going to another theatre again. Seriously. I intentionally only ate a cheese stick, a twizzler (not a pack…a single twizzler) and 3 kernels of popcorn because I knew we were going to my favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch and I wanted there to be room for tortilla chip calories.


Me in my comfy movie seat with a twizzler. No worries...Alan ate the entire rest of the package. :)

Something annoying happened at the restaurant though…and I can’t decide if I should write a note to the manager or not, especially since the manager was involved. This is my favorite restaurant. I adore their salsa…have even bought some JUST to take it home. I also adore their tortilla soup…which is what inspired me to find an authentic recipe to make for myself. Mine tastes nothing like theirs…but they both are delicious in their own right.

Anyway, the “chip girl” brought our chips and said that “Kim” would be our waitress…but then proceeded to take our drink order. She then delivered the drinks and proceeded to take our meal order. Still no Kim. This is all fine…but the chip girl didn’t speak English real well and it became painfully obvious when we were ordering. In any case, I ordered a “CUP of tortilla soup” as opposed to the BOWL of tortilla soup, which is what I ALWAYS ordered even PRE-band because the cup is the perfect quantity. Of course…the HUGE BOWL gets delivered…again…by the chip girl. So as she puts it in front of me I said “I’m sorry, I ordered a cup of soup. There is no way I can eat this amount as I’ve had stomach surgery”…so she offered to take the bowl back so they could fix me a cup. Here is where I apparently erred…I thought that it was silly for them to take the whole bowl back and DUMP IT just to make me a cup of soup…so I said “just leave it but I would like to only be charged for a cup since that is what I ordered. I won’t be able to eat all of this”. I thought I was being less wasteful doing it this way…it’s not like they could serve the soup again, right?

Well…of course, the bill comes and I’ve been charged for a bowl. The whole meal we only see Kim at our table ONCE…solely to bus Alan’s dish. I now have to deal with the chip girl AGAIN to deal with the bill issue. I ask for the adjustment (and I would like to note I could only eat ¼ of the bowl of soup, just as I had suspected!) and then over-hear in the back that a customer has requested to see a manager. Can’t be me…I didn’t request the manager. But…sure enough…manager shows up at my table. “Why didn’t you let her take the bowl of soup back?” she asked. “Because it seemed silly to me for you to have to throw it away and re-make it for me. I was trying to be helpful”. “Well that is our policy in these situations” she said. Really? REALLY? Is it just me or is this getting retarded?

By the way, this lady knows us. Alan is in there ONCE A WEEK and pre surgery, so was I…so WTH? Why is such a stink being made when I was trying to be less wasteful but did not want to be billed for something I didn’t order??? Am I wrong here?

Seriously…it annoys me enough to not want to go back there…which is really upsetting because I really love this freakin soup and their salsa! UGH!

So do I write the manager a note? Do I never go back? I don’t know what to do…it’s disappointing.

To wrap things up, one final picture for my calendar for the month of April, where I had only 6, yes SIX rest days. I’m so proud of myself and my exercise groove! WOHOO!!!





I plan on posting measurement updates soon. :)

Oh...and my current weight is 227.8