Monday, January 31, 2011

250.3….or 251.6…stupid scale, but I’ll take either!

Cuz no matter what, the scale is finally heading DOWN!


The 250.3 was my nekky weight right after peeing this morning….then, once again…after reveling in the glory (and starting my morning routine) whilst not consuming ANYTHING, I weighed myself AGAIN and it was up to 251.6. Why do I torture myself this way? LOL Subsequent weighings produced another 251.6 and a 251.4. I don’t care…I broke my “scale low” finally! YAY!


I am back to fiddling with the water pills, so I’m sure that helped…but no matter the reason, I’m a happy girl. I’m trying to take the hydrocholorthiazide based on how I’m feeling/ankle poofiness, instead of just taking a whole pill every day or cutting them out completely. For example, I know my water weight always goes back up on Mondays because I spend much of the day sitting in a chair with my legs hanging down…but my ankles were NOT poofy at all this morning, so I only took ½ of the daily dose. The true test will be over the next couple of days to see if my electrolytes stay in check.


This weekend I did a solid 30-40 minutes of exercise (30 min on elliptical, and roughly 10 minutes on the Total Gym) Saturday and Sunday I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and another 10 minutes of various leg exercises that were probably ineffectual but I need to do SOMETHING. I don’t want to end up with a fabulous upper body and a saggy booty. I gotta figure something out here.


The trainer comes in again tonight and I can’t wait. I’m down to two days a week now to help keep the total costs down so it’s up to me to keep up my workouts when he is not around. This also means keeping up the intensity, which I can say with authority I did NOT do yesterday. I really half-assed it…so I clearly have some work to do.


As for food, this is where things have really changed. Because I cut out my protein drinks last week to try to resolve my “digestive issues”, I really started to kinda notice how the band is affecting my eating…and I like it. As I posted, I was able to eat less pizza and less chicken and fries at dinner the other night. But then Saturday I went out to dinner with a girlfriend and while EVERYTHING on the menu looked delicious, my selections were quite different from “the old days”. Before the band, I would have eaten 4 or more of the “pre-dinner rolls” that they provide, that just MELT in your mouth…and then would have proceeded to eat a bacon cheeseburger and steak fries. Oh how I wanted to order that…but I knew that the bun would just be too much. So, instead I ordered a cup of chili and a “lite” blackened Chicken Caesar (which I believe is a ½ order of their usual size). I ate 1 and ½ of the rolls, the chili and ½ of the chicken Caesar and then stopped when I felt satisfied. I’m sure still more calories than I should, but I’m putting this in the win column anyway.


Sunday I went out to eat again with friends for lunch. I nibbled at a potato appetizer that we shared, and then ate 2 of the 5 “naked” chicken wings I ordered. I think I might have to start taking food containers to restaurants with me cuz I keep bringing stuff home in containers that are making me feel guilty about their impact on the environment. Seriously.


Then dinner time came and I had made a shredded beef recipe I had seen on a Food Network program. I sat with my friends for this “taco” dinner and ate…drumroll please…ONE taco! ONE! Wow…pre band, I coulda shoved 4-6 down my gullet, easily. I got to the last two bites of my ONE taco and had to take a breather. I could not believe it! I’m so happy I could cry! I also didn’t spend the day “nibbling”. I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner and that was it! I went to a movie with a friend and he offered to buy snacks, which I never buy at movies anyway but it was so easy to say “no thank you” without hesitation. There is something to this “eating solid food” instead of liquid protein thing. Wow…just wow.


The other thing is that I really didn’t “track” calories and protein this weekend…I just needed a break from it…and I got rewarded with less hunger, a lower scale number, and I wore my tight workout clothes in public and felt kinda cute. Oh…and I fit comfortably in the theatre seat. Things are looking up for the airplane flight next month! :)


P.S. I just got home from work after writing this earlier and my legs are terribly swollen. I don't care what the scale says tomorrow...cuz I know I broke the low today. :)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Craptastic week

This week has been hectic, and I still don't have anything good going on at the scale. But...now that I'm branching out to different foods, I can say that while I have definitely NOT hit my sweet spot, I can say that I have a little restriction, which is nice. I'll keep chasing after the "g-spot" as I saw someone else call it...the spot that puts you in the "green zone" for eating, where you are satisfied by a small amount of food and not hungry for 3 to 4 hours....oh how I can't wait for that day.


As it stands right now, I can eat more than a cup of food, and I get hungry in about 1.5 to 2 hours...ugh. And, I'm losing momentum and not making the best food choices. This part is on me, I know. However, I am proud(ish) to say that when attempting to eat a "thin crust" chicken pizza (which has almost 70 calories less than it's "original crust" brother), I was done after 2 slices, and when I went out to dinner last night, I ordered chicken strips and could only eat 2 of the 3 and left 75% of the fries on the plate.


Last week I struggled so much with physical issues that I cut out my protein shakes and other protein supplements completely for a few days while I tried to figure out if they were the source of my week long "digestion issues"...which I still can't say for sure they weren't. But I need to start including those things again because they help me to feel full longer and they help me keep my total calories for the day lower. Still in search of the ever-elusive "balance"...


I'm still hormonally challenged...we are now on day 17 of my period...my boobs are absolutely killing me. They hurt like I'm pregnant (I'm not...I checked). My electrolyte balance fluctuates WILDLY depending on if I workout or not. I can't figure out what I need to take to keep it in balance when I do workout. I even had some morning nausea before eating/drinking anything. Plus I'm having all this pain from working out and my psoas being compressed again. I think I hit my "rock bottom" the other day as all of this began to be more than I could handle.


The good news is that I'm in physical therapy for the psoas and back pain, and as of today, the tummy issues seem to have been resolved. I'm going to try adding the protein shakes back in now though, because I need the extra protein. I'm not getting enough without the shakes.


I had a household plumbing emergency this week that ended up costing me about $1000...which was painful. It could have been (and still could be) so much worse though. I'm holding out hope that we found the problem and that my sewer line doesn't need to be replaced. The SMELL in my house from the moldy water in my crawlspace almost made me hurl the other day. We've been burning partylite candles 24 hours a day to mask the smell. I hope this dissipates soon. By the way...home ownership is a total sham....I wish I could go back to renting and let these problems be someone else's burden...but I'm STUCK in a house I owe more on than it's worth. Damn market. If this plumbing issue had in fact become a 10k plus sewer line issue, I think I would have had no choice but to walk away from the house. I let that thought sit with me a couple hours while I waited for the plumber to re-surface from the crawlspace to give me the final bill.


As the capper on my craptastic week, I went on a date last night with a guy from match. I wasn't super into him, but I had a nice time....right up until he asked to split the check. Now...this wouldn't bother me except that in his profile he said "let me show you how shivery isn't dead"...yes, ladies and gentlemen...he spelled it "SHIVERY". Not only is it dead...but it may have suffered a brutal murder. This guy asked me to dinner. I had suggested we meet for coffee somewhere and he said "would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night", which to ME is him asking me to dinner. I woulda been fine with coffee. So in my mind, if someone asks you to dinner, then they should be the one paying. If I had asked him to dinner, then I would have gladly paid....but he asked me...he picked the restaurant...and he is the one that claims he can show you how CHIVALRY isn't dead even though he can't spell it. So anyway, when he asked the waiter for the check, I turned my head just in time to see him signal to the waiter to split it in 2...when he saw that I saw that, he said "you don't mind going Dutch, do you?". I'm not one to argue with someone who just showed me where I stand.


But wait, there is more.


So...we split the check. He paid cash for his and took all his change leaving NO tip for his portion of the check! I couldn't believe it. Our waiter was fine...he checked up on us, was very courteous, seriously...no complaints. There was no excuse for him to not leave a tip. I felt so bad!


One might think that he asked to go Dutch because he didn't like how the date was going. One might think that...but then he said he would like to see me again. Yeah...I'm thinking no.


UGH...what a waste of perfectly good mascara.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Oh…right…now I remember

I sometimes question my decision not to tell too many people about being banded. But then one of my friends says something that not only reminds me WHY I was being selective, but also makes me regret having included her in the list of people I shared it with. Yesterday she said that I “sure have been posting a lot about food” on my Facebook status’s lately, and how I’m “never going to lose weight if I keep eating the way” I have been according to those status messages. When I challenged her and said I hadn’t posted much of anything on FB about eating poorly, she came back with “oh yes you have, you should go read them”…so I did.
 
I knew I hadn’t posted much about eating poorly because for the most part I haven’t eaten poorly. But what she said got under my skin so bad that I HAD to go look at all my posts since the surgery. I had surgery December 23rd. Through yesterday, I have posted about food IN GENERAL only 13 times (not bad over 31 freakin days…and a few of those posts were regarding the same thing). Some of them were even about HEALTHY food choices, like when I was raving about the tortilla soup I was making (Tomatoes, onions, garlic, peppers and chicken broth…to which you can later add chicken and/or tortillas), or like when I chose to split a 100 calorie muffin with a friend, which would have been a great choice…but was made even better when I dropped my 50 calorie portion on the dang floor.

Why should I be chastised for saying something about Spaghetti (which incidentally, I have not eaten since November) or craving Tacos, or Pizza? Why do I have to have the freakin food police over-analyzing my freakin Facebook posts???

AND ANOTHER THING…just because I happen to post ABOUT food that SOME might not consider “diet”, doesn’t mean I’m blowing the weight loss effort anyway. I can have eggs and grits, pizza (right now…bread doesn’t bother me yet), Thai food and everything else I posted, as long as I stay within my calories and meet my protein goals…so suck it!

Yes…I might be a tad bit fired up.

I joke around with friends on FB, leave silly statuses about anything and everything. I update my status message anywhere from 2-8 times every day. I like to goof around, saying things like “Tonight I’m going to be with my friends WHILE icing my back…I know…hot, right? I’m too sexy for my icepack…” and “’Pajama Jeans, the fashion sensation!’”. Sometimes I post about situations that are going on that day that are happy/sad/funny/exciting….whatever. And sometimes the post includes food. Hell…I got a lapband, I didn’t have my stomach completely removed. I still eat, ya know! And how come she failed to notice the posts about my exercise habbits? I posted almost every day last week about having worked out…I don’t get credit for that?

I know I need to let this go, and I will. I’m not going to change how I post because of this…but I am going to change how I discuss things with her. The only reason I told her is because I wanted her boyfriend, a dear friend of mine, to know. She would have heard it from him anyway. But damn…I regret telling both of them now.

So annoyed with this issue that I’m actually going to post all the status messages regarding food since surgery and subsequently over-analyze them myself (please note that I’m leaving out the other 100 statuses that had NOTHING to do with food):

  • Dec 30, 2010 8:13 am “Love me some eggs and grits!” (my first day of eating mushies and my roommates boyfriend made me REAL grits…not that crapy instant stuff I buy)
  • Dec 30, 2010 6:43 pm “OMG…the delicious smells permeating through my house right now. Carrie…you sure you wanna move to SC? Can’t we all just stay here and he can cook for us a few nights a week???” (Roommates boyfriend made ribs…I was still on mushies and could only enjoy the fabulous aromas)
  • Dec 31, 2010 5:42 pm “Peyton just scored an escapee meatball…and people food gives him wicked gas. My dog is so sleeping in the garage tonight!” (Meatballs I was making for my NYE party)
  • Jan 4, 2011 9:11 am “Life lessons by Becki: “Some things should probably not be cooked in the nude. Spattering hot items may pose a threat to exposed body parts.” (I was making eggs and corned beef hash – corned beef spatters, by the way) 
  • Jan 4, 2011 10:08 am “I wish I had known today was National Spaghetti day…I would have planned a proper celebration.” (Mostly a lie…I couldn’t have eaten spaghetti that day…but all my friends know how much I love it, so I commented)
  • Jan 5, 2011 3:41 pm “Anyone want pizza? Cuz I do…need a pizza partner.” (Um…HELLO…HEALTHIER option for me to find someone to have pizza with instead of ordering for myself and eating the whole thing…the way I used to! And we didn’t get it that day…we waited till Sunday)
  • Jan 6, 2011 3:56 pm “Nachos for lunch with the girls may have been a poor life choice on my part. Did I mention I’m never eating again?” (Not one of my healthier choices…so there is 1 point for her)
  • Jan 9, 2011 12:38 pm “Wait…we did this wrong. You are supposed to have pizza while watching the big game on Saturday…oh well, tastes just as good on Sunday.” (This was the pizza I was craving 4 days earlier...and I stayed within my calorie constraints)
  • Jan 12, 2011 9:02 pm “Well I’ve burned enough calories for one day. I’m gonna go eat a snickers bar now…err…I mean go to bed. Goodnight!” (Yeah…that was a JOKE…I haven’t eaten a snickers in over six months)
  • Jan 13, 2011 10:40 am “Whatever happens at lunch today is Adrienne’s fault! I take no responsibility for my actions…claiming the Twinkie defense!” (We went out for Mac n’ Cheese…I kept to a 1 cup serving and counted it in my food log and all was well)
  • Jan 13, 2011 3:43 pm “Carb overload! Need caffeine, STAT! Zzzzzzzzzz” (Post-mac n’ cheese incident)
  • Jan 14, 2011 11:50 am “Thai for lunch with Alan….yummm! Can’t Wait!” (Ate ½ cup of Pad Thai and took the other ½ cup home. Counted it in my food log)
  • Jan 15, 2011, 11:16 am “Leftovers for breakfast…delicious!” (Ate the leftover pad thai and again, counted it in my food log)
  • Jan 16, 2011 12:54 am “Dude…I could totally go for some tacos right now” (Note the time…I had a craving…but didn’t do it. Was too lazy to go get tacos at 1am)
  • Jan 17, 2011 12:14 pm “Today’s menu includes an AUTHENTIC Mexican Tortilla soup, courtesy of my sister and her Food Network obsession…nummy nummy nummy…its almost like I really know how to cook. :)” (Totally healthy)
  • Jan 17, 2011 1:27 pm “My house smells delicious. You should come over and smell it with me…..mmmmm!!!!” (It was the totally healthy tortilla soup process making my house smell so fab)
  • Jan 19, 2011 3:14 pm “I opted to split a 100 calorie mini-muffin with a co-worker…and promptly dropped my half on the floor. Is this a sign?” (First of all, I knew the calories of the muffin, which I think is a win to begin with…second, I still opted to split it in half…and third, I didn’t even get to eat the damn thing…so yeah…not an unhealthy eating post.)

So…I guess she has a point. ONE POINT…and that’s all I’m giving her credit for.

Now if you will excuse me, it’s almost time for my Tuna with mayo and 5 Ritz crackers lunch. If you would like to know the nutrition information, I’d be happy to post that. 

 
//end rant

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Not eating enough and not taking propper supplements = feeling like doody!

I consumed roughly 400 calories Monday.
I consumed about 630 calories Tuesday.
I have NOT taken my calcium/magnesium supplement since surgery. (I truly didn't think I needed it)
I stopped taking my potassium supplement after my fill monday. (Too big for Frito Bandito now)

All this makes for one very sore, very irritable, very tired Becki!

But I have made appropriate changes. I did not understand the importance of the Calcium/Magnesium supplement and starting last night am doing better about taking twice it a day (I took it last night and this morning).

I learned from a pharmacist what my options were for the potassium supplement. Sadly, the option makes me want to gag...but I got 20 MEq down today, which is about how much I usually need.

And I'm doing my best to increase calories. Today I ate cream of wheat made with 2% milk for breakfast, had a MF drink, potatoes made with milk for mid morning snack, and plan on eating cream of chicken soup made with milk for lunch,  pudding for mid-day snack, a protein drink for dinner and then perhaps a piece of cheese tonight (which will be my first solid since the fill). That comes in at 1028 calories and 80 grams of protein. CRAP...still not enough calories. Can I have some ice cream or something? I seriously don't know what to do about this...PLUS I have a workout tonight with the trainer.

Since taking the potassium and the cal mag this morning, I'm starting to feel a LOT more human. Now if I could just figure out this calorie issue. Seriously...who would have ever thought I'd be struggling to get enough? WTF?

Monday, January 17, 2011

First Fill Today...

and I feel NOTHING. LOL....they put 5cc in my 11cc band, and then asked me to drink 6 ounces of water, which I promptly did and felt NOTHING...no gurgle, no trouble getting the water down, nadda. The fluoro tech looked confused and concerned. She told me to make sure to let Dr. Hunter know on the way out that I felt nothing at all. I did...he said "wait till you eat solid food, you should feel something then". So...groovey...now I guess I wait till thursday morning's "first soft foods meal" till I can tell if anything has changed.

In the mean time, I'm UP six pounds since my last appointment 2 weeks ago....which can't possibly be fat due to how many calories I've consumed in the last two weeks...but it's still no fun to have that weight gain charted on your record.

The fill was a piece of cake...in fact Dr. Hunter said that my port is very easy to find and we won't need to use the fluoro again...so that's cool.

I spent today making a couple of soups which are now stored in 1 cup containers in the freezer. I drank some of the the "tortilla soup" broth just now...delicious for my first try. By the way...sucked that bad boy down without a "gurgle" too....*sigh*

I received "the bill" for my surgery...for $19k plus...slight booboo there since they neglected to submit it to my insurance company. I called the billing department today to let them know there was a problem...but at least now I know for sure that I will be paying 15% of $19,000. I wasn't 100% sure of my total cost going in but that's pretty much how much I had estimated. Now...to do my taxes so I can pay for little Frito Bandito.

I have my 3rd session with the trainer in an hour, so I'm gonna go get a little rest and get ready for that.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Goodbye for now, scale low of 253.8...until we meet again...

The time has come...at least for now...for me to stop taking my water pill. My potassium is dropping to ranges that can be controlled by prescription potassium pills, but those pills are "extended release" and therefore not an option for me anymore. I don't know if it's the low calories or the extra exertion with exercise (me thinks it's the latter), but my potassium is no longer in my control...so the water pills gotta go lest this become a dangerous situation for my heart.


As such, it's very likely I will gain some water weight for a while until I find a new "normal". *sigh*....I'll miss seeing the scale go down for a while. Hopefully things will stabilize in the next week or two and then start going down again.


Sure will be nice to sleep through the night without waking at 4am to twitching and Charlie-horsing muscles...I won't miss that! Three days in a row was more than enough.


My trainer kicked my ass last night...love it!!! I did think of a way to "replicate" his current routine by creating a timed prompting on PowerPoint and just running through everything in front of my laptop (thus saving me some money), however right now, I need to pay for the encouragement to "push through", cuz if he weren't there, I'd so totally slack off! LOL


I had eaten so lightly before the workout that I was FAMISHED when it was over. I've never been one of those people who can use exercise to reduce hunger...NEVER. I don't even understand those people. Anyway, I had a little food party before going to bed...but I was really good and focused on protein. My party was 3/4 oz of gouda, 3 crackers, 1 pepperoni stick and a pickle. I punched the additional calories into FitDay this morning and my totals for yesterday were 923 calories and 80 grams of protein. I gotta find a couple hundred more calories. I'm going to start adding 1/2 of a banana and some berries to my shakes, which will add 150 calories to my day...that ought to help a little.


My weekend starts tonight! Only a few more days till my first fill!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I'm so over the protein shakes!

My body is rebelling against the protein shakes. I've been nauseated all day today...took me over an hour to get my whey shake down this morning...and then I skipped my mid-morning snack and almost skipped lunch because I just felt gross. I finally nuked my soup and eating it actually made me feel better. I should probably start backing off on the shakes (like my doctor said), but if it wasn't for them, I'm not sure I'd ever even bother with breakfast. So...I don't know what to do.

Yesterday my head was pounding when I got home from work at 7pm, so I just went to bed. I did eat a serving of soup at the end of the day but skipped the medifast bar, so I was a little low on total calories and protein yesterday (770 calories and 69 grams of protein), so not too bad but could be better. I still think my calories are too low. I really am uncertain how this will IMPROVE once I get a fill....so confused on this part.

I have another training session with the trainer tonight...YAY! Very excited for this.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Lunch...it's the new Dinner

My how my life is changing.

Yesterday's "Medifast" plan went fabulously well. I attempted it again today. For lunch, however, I planned to have my usual "Happy Salad" from the Teriyaki place across from work. This salad equates to roughly one entire head of iceberg lettuce (or close to it), a pounded out grilled (and most certainly marinated in something delicious involving sugar) chicken thigh and a creamy dressing that I have zero nutritional information on. There are also about 5 almond slivers...but good luck finding them in all that lettuce. I loved this salad pre-op because it was incredibly satisfying. I always felt full all day long on it until dinner.

My new life seems to be (this is pre-fill mind you, I'm sure it will change) that I eat whatever sounds good for lunch, and then I seem to be so full that I can't or don't want to eat for the rest of the day. Not too bad of a plan, perhaps?

So I ate the salad today...leaving about 95% of the lettuce behind and using only half the dressing....so really lunch was a chicken thigh and some fatty dressing...but all in all not too shabby. It's now 4:30pm and I just had my first "I think I might be hungry" moment (skipping my afternoon snack), drank a sip of water and now that moment has passed.

Which leaves me in a teeny tiny dilemmas to whether or not I should eat dinner. My plan previously had been a medifast bar...if I ONLY eat that, I will be at 600 calories and 65 grams of protein for the day. I know, right? Too low! So if I add in a bowl of tortilla soup, I get up to 900 calories (if I'm generous with the tortillas)...but the thought of all that food is simply not appetizing right now. Wait...who said that?

By the way...I did, in fact, work my ass off last night with the trainer. I'm gonna love this investment in myself! I wasn't sure after he left if I was going to ever be able to raise my arms again, but I'm happy to say that I can...with only a slight wince on my face when I do. :)  Can't wait for the next session tomorrow!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Oy..."hell" is a place full of declicious foods and NO RESTRICTION

Yes...I'm in hell. And the devil totally had my back this weekend. Pizza, Chinese food, brownies, OH MY!

I've decided that since my stomach can apparently handle ANYTHING that I can go ahead and utilize the rest of my Medifast food for this week while I wait for my first fill...cuz otherwise, I'm truly going to gain back every pound I have lost so far. In my never-ending quest for that "full feeling" I'm just plain consuming too much of bad choices. I need to narrow my options for a while.

As such, my menu for today is as follows:

8am - Medifast Chocolate Shake
10am - Medifast pretzels
12pm - 1/2 cup Chili with cheese and 3 saltine crackers
2pm - Medifast hot cocoa
4pm - Medifast Cranberry Mango drink
6pm - Medifast Peanut Butter Bar

This comes in at about 900 calories and 95 grams of protein and leaves me wiggle room for a pudding or something if I get hungry later but doesn't "over fill" me so I SHOULD get a good night’s sleep tonight.

Also...big news...I have my FIRST session with the personal trainer tonight. I SOOOOO can't wait for this. I'll admit...a lot of my "justification" for eating this weekend was because I knew I would be starting to workout hard this week. And while I did eat things I seriously shouldn't have, I kept my TOTAL calorie intake for those days low-ISH....by that I mean, I was pretty much full for the rest of the day after eating those high calorie things over lunch so I didn't totaly screw things up for myself. I guess in THAT regard, the band is currently working...because for me to be able to eat a plate of Chinese food at lunch and NOT want more food later in the day is a bit of a freakin miracle if you ask me.

Anyway, excited about tonight...I hope to be sore tomorrow in all the good ways! :)

Monday, January 3, 2011

First post-op appointment with surgeon

The highlights of my day:
  • I am down 5 pounds since the day of surgery (today's weight, 254)
  • Down 9 pounds since consult with Dr. Hunter on December 17
  • My steri-strips fell off in the shower today
  • The worlds smallest yogurt just filled me up (Activia lite)
  • My first fill is scheduled for January 17!
I am progressing fabulously! In fact, I no longer have to puree my food as long as I remember to chew well. I've had NO episodes of nausea or vomiting, no pain in my stomach, nothing. I read so many blogs from bandsters that had so many issues since day of surgery and I feel so blessed to be doing so well! As of right now, I have zero regrets! I hope this continues!

I'm having un-pureed Chili for dinner tonight and I can't wait! Tomorrow, my old favorite...Chicken Tortilla Soup!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year! Welcome 2011...I'm expecting a lot out of you this year!

Well...good news, bad news time.

Bad news is...I've discovered (as of the NYE party last night) that I can tolerate the following items without problems...meatballs in bbq sauce, pigs in blankets, ruffles, cream puffs and pound cake. Ugh...while I probably ONLY ate about 500 calories worth, I really wish I hadn't even tried. It was way too soon to try those things...but I had ZERO discomfort.

Now for the good news...ish. My roommates boyfriend brought me a 1/2 cup serving his homemade baked mac and cheese...which is impossible for me to resist. So I had that...no problem (I realize this is bad...but I swear there is good news coming). He saved another 1/2 cup serving for me so I tried to eat that some time later and I THINK...for the first time...I might have possibly felt "restriction"...because it took a good minute for the last bite to go down...and when it went down, it went down slow and put up a fight. I resisted the urge to "wash it down" with a drink of water. I waited my full 30 minutes before drinking water in fact...and now I hope to not eat at all for the rest of the day (not impossible since it's already 5pm).

I know I've screwed up. UGH...I can't wait to go to work on monday. It is so much freakin easier to eat properly and on a schedule when I am at work. I swear if I were perpetually unemployed, I'd easily weigh about 1000 pounds.

So lets talk resolutions. I'm actually not one to make resolutions...but since I'm starting this year with my new "tool", I think it's a good time to set a few goals into place.So...here we go...

1. I resolve to focus on nutrient rich proteins first, out of respect for my new friend, Frito Bandito.
2. I resolve to work towards getting some form of exercise, 30 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week. Some form can be as much as walking around downtown Olympia on my lunch break if I have to. The garage gym will be functional by the end of the first weekend of the new year.
3. I resolve to learn to play guitar.

The last one is a joke...my traditional resolution. Who knows...maybe I'll get on that one this year....but really, if I have time to be practicing guitar, shouldn't I be exercising? Hmmmm....