Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Independence

My weight has not changed. I’m just at 220…for many reasons that I’m sure are my own fault. However, it could be so much worse if I were not banded. I’d probably be at 250 already by now if it wasn’t for this little restriction I do thankfully have. I lost “the sweet spot” about a week ago. I don’t know why (or maybe I do...maybe it's all in my head)…but it’s gone again. I’m not ready to ask for a fill though. I think there are a few things I can tweak on my own before I do that.

The last 10 days have been hectic. My roommate who has lived with me for the last year has been gearing up to get married and move out over 4th of July weekend. I did a massive “purge” of useless crap and held a garage sale the weekend of the 25th. Partly to clean house…partly to make up for some of the lost “cash reserves” that I won’t have now that she has moved on. The garage sale went well…I made $350 over two days. The first day I did some yard work during the sale that I’m totally counting as my workout for the day. I had to trim a hedge that had grown above the electric meter using the old fashioned NON ELECTRIC hedge trimmers…I worked my arms to LITERAL fatigue. I couldn’t even grip a water cup when I was done my arms were so totally wiped out and I was totally shaky. Overall the whole garage sale experience was completely exhausting.

When it was coming to a close on the second day, there was no one home to give me a “lunch break”, so I rather unfortunately ordered a pizza. “Unfortunate” because I discovered I could still eat more than I should have been able to. It was regular crust, too…not that cracker thin stuff. Ugh…I wish I hadn’t learned this. I think it was all downhill from there. I didn’t eat the whole thing…just 3 pieces…but it was truly 2 pieces more than I should have.

I did continue to work out strongly following the pizza incident, although the months of May and June were not NEAR as impressive as April. I can, however, still say with confidence that I “generally” worked out 5 days a week…except one, where I worked out only 4. I want to be at 6 days again though…I need to get back on track with that. Perhaps now I will be motivated to get there.


May Workout Calendar

June Workout Calendar

The 4th of July holiday weekend was just a plain nightmare…from the food to the toxic crap going on around me. The roommate is in a “not great” relationship that degraded several times over the last two weeks to the point of the wedding being called off…twice. The second time was the night before the wedding. The myriad of crap surrounding that situation, including me trying to hold her together, and trying to throw her a going away party, and unexpectedly having to deal with other issues and surprises that cropped up along the way…it was just overly toxic. Toxic to the point that after the ceremony on Monday, I was done. I needed to be alone…and unfortunately, I “needed”, or wanted, or chose to have…whatever you want to call it…a drink. Sadly, I chose a very sugary drink, so not only was I going to have my usual “after effects” that alcohol tends to have on my weight loss, but I also had probably about 700 extra calories. I don’t truly know…cuz I didn’t care. I just wanted to be in a different space for a while.

The going away party netted a massive amount of “leftovers” that have been in my kitchen haunting me since Saturday. However, thanks to the band…the things I did partake in were limited…thankfully! I’m also pretty impressed with myself for how I chose to “utilize” some of the leftovers. The party was potluck/BBQ style with me providing the meat and everyone else doing the rest. The fiancé, unfortunately chose to cook ALL the meat ahead of people actually arriving (which to me is stupid at a BBQ…but whatever) which we kept warm in chafing dishes throughout the party. Well…needless to say there were tons of burgers and hot dogs left. It pained me to throw them ALL away, so I actually made two pots of chili with the cubed-up burgers (which smells pretty dang good!), one batch of sloppy joes (delicious!) and one batch of mac n’ cheese with hot dogs (a personal favorite of mine), all portioned up and tossed in the freezer. I’m pretty impressed with myself for this…I don’t like being wasteful and we threw away soooo much food! All the pasta salads and potato salads and beans, and half the cake and chips, ugh…I wish I could have somehow given it to the needy or something but you know certain things can’t be kept after they have been sitting out too long. I still have a billion buns, too…I froze six of the burger buns (cuz I can use the bottom bun for a sloppy-ish joe) but honestly I just don’t eat buns anymore. What the heck do I do with the rest of these dang buns? Ideas? Anyone? Hey….bread crumbs maybe? Hmmm….

Speaking of buns...I attempted to eat a hot dog with a bun on Saturday. Guess who got stuck on the last bite? Thank goodness though! Cuz otherwise there would have been way too much consumption of other food items going on! I needed the kick in the…errr…stomach.

Now that the roommate is OFFICIALLY moved out, and since today was garbage day and I once again have room in my trash bin, I can clean my fridge. YAY! I know it sounds stupid, but I needed this moment! I need to get the temptations out of my house. The last couple of weeks there has been one thing after another in my fridge and I mostly can handle it, but as the toxicity level increased, my resistance decreased. Now that she is gone, I can have the fridge to myself again for a while and get back on track. The fridge purge is ON for tonight! After my workout, of course. ;)

Unfortunately with the departure of my roommate I can no longer afford my personal trainer. However, I have copied most of our workout regimens to PowerPoint presentations that are timed to prompt me to change to the next exercise interval. I will lose out on the “payment motivation” (i.e., motivated by the fact that I’m paying so much money) and the fact that he used to bring his 22lb curl bar…I will have to do all the exercises with only dumbbells that I currently have on hand. I’m bummed about this, but perhaps when I finally get a new roommate I will be able to hire him again for the “next level” of training.

Living without roomy income also means clothing store purchases will be few and far between. I am feeling VERY dowdy right now though, so I did spend $150 on 6 items from Old Navy online the other day to get me through the summer. One dress was $40 but the rest were relatively inexpensive. I can’t wait for the shipment to come in so I can have some summer clothes that look good. I’m wearing an 18W now…but all my summer pants are 20-22 and just looking frumpy and I SWEAR I have no tops to speak of (perhaps a slight exaggeration…but that’s how it feels.)

Tonight is my first night in the house all alone. I’m totally looking forward to it!

3 comments:

  1. Yay for a quiet house! I too discovered recently that I could eat pizza. I only ate about 3/4 of one piece, but I ate it and it didn't get stuck. I was WAY full though and my band was telling me it wasn't happy.
    I'm with you in the clothes situation. I'm finally down to a nice reasonable size and I can't shop because hubby lost his job and is still trying to find a new one. We're on a total spending FREEZE!
    Have a great night alone in YOUR place.

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  2. Wow, you've had a crazy coupe of weeks! I have 2 roommates so I can appreciate you enjoying your time alone! :)

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  3. we all have very toxic weeks. There are days when I am utterly shocked at the amount I can eat and then there are days that I just can't eat a thing! Pizza is one. Last weekend I could not eat ONE bite. 3 weeks ago. 3 slices, no prob!

    I am sorry you will not have income from your roomy but it does sound like you needed her to go! They have issues and that is never good for you to be involved it!

    Good for you for not wasting! You'll be fine! I know!

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